William Pauley III’s 115th Dream

Last night, I dreamed I was living inside a computer glitch.

My surroundings I recognized immediately as a setting from the old playstation game Manhunt, however when I awakened and sobered from my dream-drunk state I realized the setting was not from Manhunt at all. It was just some mobile home.

Anyway, I had my dog, Cosmo, with me. He was the first to discover a glitch. There was a noise coming from the outside, boots skidding across rough concrete. Cosmo’s ears perked up, and without hesitation, he leapt straight through the wall—unharmed, untouched.

I’m not even sure I was amazed. It seemed unimportant at the time.

I chose to go through the door, which created a real problem for me, as the body that belonged to those skidding boots became inexplicably impaled by the top edge of the storm door. Another glitch.

The body seemed weightless as it writhed about atop the impossibly sturdy aluminum door, and even boneless, as it folded in on itself in ways most boned bodies can’t. This drove Cosmo nuts. He just kept shouting at it.

The body seemed panicked but also tired, as if those kinds of things happened to it all the time. I made a true effort to help the convulsing blob, but there was simply nothing to grab ahold of. The three of us gave up hope pretty quickly.

At this point, my eyes opened, and I was back in my glitch-free world for a second, but almost immediately I fell back to sleep.

The last thing I remember was that I was getting dressed for the day, but I was wearing clothes that didn’t belong to me, they weren’t even suited to my particular tastes. I was dressed exactly like Sherrif Truman from Twin Peaks [which makes sense, given that lately I’ve been rewatching the episodes again for the 300th time].

As strange as it was, it didn’t immediately alert me that we were back in dream world. I wouldn’t realize until I encountered my next glitch.

I went to put on my cattle hat [I don’t know if anyone in real life calls cowboy hats “cattle hats,” but I remember insisting it was a “cattle hat” inside my dream], but I pulled the thing down over my entire head, and like the twitching blob stuck out on my front door, my face became fused to the material of the hat.

The hat was me. I was the hat.

A final glitch before waking.

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